Q: If the Early Bird Gets the Worm...

Then what does a bird with no will to live get?

Yesterday my friend Suzie requested I blog about a dark time in my life. I agreed, so without further ado, here is the story of The Half-Blind (Endangered) Eagle.

My parents and I took a trip to Saint Louis my senior year to visit colleges I wanted to maybe attend. It's a lovely fall day--crisp, Carolina blue skies, and abundant sunshine. A perfect day. After we reach Illinois, my dad asks me if I want to drive. I climb into the driver's seat, my mom sits back with her magazine, my dad begins working on his laptop, and I glance over to the right of the car. Flying beside our car is a STUNNING golden eagle/some sort of bird of prey. This thing is huge, too. We are talking at least a 5 foot wing span, maybe more. Not to mention I am cruising along at about 65-70 MPH.

This bird is taking in the perfect day in the perfect way! He is flying along effortlessly, with big, slow swoops of his wings. I admire the bird, the sunlight gleaming off of his golden and white-speckled coat. I turn my attention back to the road, glancing over occasionally at what has to be an endangered bird of prey. I've never seen anything like this bird before.

So we are cruising along, my parents and I, with the bird beside us, and as I look over at him, the bird speeds up a little bit. Just as I am thinking to myself, "Wow, that bird can fly so fast" he CUTS SUDDENLY ACROSS THE ROAD, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I scream. It's too fast to hit the breaks, and swerving will do nothing. It's unavoidable.

BAM! I hit the bird, and an explosion of feathers goes all over the front of our car and windshield. My parents both jump, ask me what's wrong. I burst into tears and sob, "I just killed an endangered bird!" and we look at the road disappearing behind us. Sure enough, there is the beautiful golden bird, in a crippled--and significantly less feathered--mess in the middle of the road.

I made my dad drive the rest of the way to Saint Louis.

So yesterday, literally an hour after promising Suzie I would blog about the time I killed the endangered bird, I head to work to record a song for a birthday party visit. (That is another story for another time). As I am driving, I see this bird in an intersection doing some tipsy flying circus routine. It seriously looks like it's drunk. Just when it straightens itself out, it decides to careen itself INTO MY WINDSHIELD. I'm doing vocal warm-ups at the time, and I wish you could have heard what happened. (For those of you who know music, I was going up the scale 1-3-5-7-5-3-1 on a yah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha). It went something like this "yah-ha-ha-AHHHHHH" when the bird smashed into my windshield. It left a smudge mark.

Seriously? An HOUR after Suze reminds me of the endangered bird incident? What. Is. My. Life.

To answer my question, if the early bird gets the worm, then what does the bird with no will to live get? Answer: Obliterated.